Thanksgiving is, apparently, not just a time to enjoy good food and the company of family and friends. According to far-left liberal activists, it’s wreaking havoc on the planet by drastically increasing carbon emissions.
That’s right: move over, War on Christmas — Thanksgiving has to be cancelled too.
Recently, a number of articles have been published by left-wing outlets like HuffPost encouraging Americans to kick the Thanksgiving tradition for good. Environmentalists begin by whining about how many carbon emissions are produced by growing turkeys. Ironically, turkeys are one of the eco-friendliest animals raised for their meat, but that’s not good enough. What’s more, people who eat turkey commit other “climate sins” by adding meat byproducts such as butter and cream to the Thanksgiving meal.
The solution to this problem, according to far-left activists, is to not eat turkey but instead purchase a “tofurkey”, a relatively new dish that is a combination of tofu, bread or grains and some herbs and spices added for flavor. Naturally, vegetarians and vegans will find this to be an ideal meal; however, it’s hard to imagine most people eagerly dumping a tasty turkey in favor of vegetarian mush.
Modern environmentalists also think that everyone should “avoid food waste” by eating whole vegetables, from root to tip. That includes beet greens and carrot tops although (hopefully) not the corn cobs or husks.
To make life even more difficult, Thanksgiving Day cooks are supposed to research which vegetables have the lowest carbon output. Asparagus and celery are apparently no-no’s, as they produce a lot of CO2 emissions. Thankfully, pumpkin and squash are still safe to eat although you can’t eat them with butter or cream; those meat byproducts might kill all the pandas in China.
Another big problem that progressive climate activists have is the fact that a lot of people travel to spend time with family and friends. Again, it would seem that connecting with people is a good thing, but apparently all the carbon emissions caused by car and airplane travel will destroy the world as we know it. An environmental group known as Terra Pass recently claimed that Thanksgiving travel alone releases over 11 billion pounds of CO2 emissions, although it’s hard to verify this figure independently.
The idea that people should stay home, cook their own meals, and avoid spending time with those they love in order to “save the planet” is simply absurd. But, we’ve heard these sort of proposals before. One stipulation included in Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’s Green New Deal states that commercial air travel would either be completely outlawed, or made so expensive that only a select few rich people would ever be able to afford it.
Of course, you already know how crazy this all sounds. Thanksgiving is supposed to be a day to celebrate the good things in life: family, friends, and food chiefly among them. But, leftists aren’t really onboard with holidays at all anymore. They want to cancel Halloween for the costumes, ban Christmas for the Jesus, so what’s one more thing to complain about?